valentines day jokes
Girl: “I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons.”
Girl: “Yeah, you make me sick!”
Happy valentines day jokes
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s day. What do you think it means?”
“You’ll know tonight.” he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it–only to find a book entitled “The meaning of dreams”.
valentines day jokes 2012
Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, at a very smart jeweller’s shop in Hatton Garden, London.
The jeweller inquired, ‘Would you like your girlfriend’s name engraved on it?’
Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, ‘No, instead engrave “To my one and only love”.’
The jeweller smiled and said, ‘Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.’
Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, ‘Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.’
Funny valentines day jokes
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter systematically pasting “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. The guy’s curiosity gets the better of him and he walks up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing.
The man says, “I’m sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, ‘Guess who?’”
“But why?” asks the guy.
The man replies, “I’m a divorce lawyer.”